Imagination is a Weapon with a Mind of its Own
by AnInfiniteGirl
Summary: Nightmares are keeping Beca up so much that she is falling asleep in class and falling behind in rehearsal. With Beca being Beca she refuses to ask for help, but a certain two Bellas start to notice the bags under her eyes. They decide to keep an eye on the younger girl and help her, whether she wants it or not. Rated T because I'm paranoid. (Slight Triple Treble later on?)
1. Chapter 1

Beca shot up into a sitting position, breathing heavily. She panicked briefly, before her eyes adjusted to the darkness in her room. With her breathing slightly more controlled she lifted a shaking hand to pull away the strands of hair sticking to her forehead. She kept her hand there for a second, the chill of it helping to remind her that she was okay, that it wasn't real. Dragging her hand down her face she tried to rub away the last of the fear. Looking at the alarm clock on her nightstand she sighed. 5:15 AM was blinking back at her and again she sighed in frustration as she fell back onto her bed, an arm thrown haphazardly above her head. There was no way she was going back to sleep, not that she couldn't, Beca took immense pride in her ability to fall asleep anywhere if she really wanted to. No, she wasn't going back to sleep because she didn't want to see it again, that horrible memory that plagued her dreams, turning them into nightmares. To be honest she would rather relive the actually memory itself than have the nightmares. While the accident had been scary, it was nothing compared to what her nightmares were like. It was as though they were showing her what could have happened, had they not been so lucky. It took her memory of the crash and warped it to display ever increasingly terrifying scenes. The latest theme seemed to be her mother's death. While her mother hadn't died in the crash, her mind seemed to want her to know that she could have, and that it would have been all Beca's fault.

Smacking her hand down against her forehead, Beca sat up again, this time swinging her legs over the side of the bed. The clock was blinking 5:19 at this point and thanking God that Kimmy-Jin never came back to the dorm last night, Beca sat down at her desk and opened her laptop.

Beca jolted awake for the fifth time as her head once again slipped off the hand it was resting on. She sighed as she pulled herself upright, rubbing her eyes in an attempt to make them less tired. It didn't help that her Professor for philosophy was the most boring man alive, his voice could and evidently had put Beca to sleep time and time again. It also didn't help that she had been running on about five hours of sleep a night for the past week. Sure, five hours should have been plenty for Beca to at least be able to stay awake in her classes but Aubrey and Chloe (mainly Aubrey) had been pushing the Bellas to their limits the past few weeks. Even though they had already won Nationals, Barden wanted an end of year performance from the winning team that included three different routines. Aubrey had also received a call asking the Bellas to open and close some big, fancy show over the summer. That made five routines altogether. At least three would be over with soon, as the end of year show was taking place next week.

Beca started slightly as multiple students pushed their chairs back and stood up. Realising that it must be the end of the class Beca hurriedly gathered her things and left the room. Bella's rehearsal started at 4:00 PM today and it was already 3:50 meaning Beca would have to at least jog across campus to get to the gym. She groaned quietly to herself as she sped up, praying that a miracle would happen and today's session would be calm.

'Are you even trying right now Beca?' Aubrey's voice registered in Beca's ears as she sat on the floor.

After stumbling through most of the third routine Beca had finally fallen face first onto the floor. With a sigh she pushed herself up to stand in front of Aubrey. She was tired and all she wanted to do was sleep but Aubrey had announced that they would all be staying late to make sure that the routines were spotless.

'What is going on with you Beca? Don't you know how important it is that we show our fellow students that Nationals weren't a one-time thing? Do you realise what a chance this has given us? We will be the group that everyone wants to join. The restoration of our proud organisation will finally be complete. Yet here you are, three beats behind everyone else and stumbling over yourself life a drunkard.' Aubrey's voice became increasingly louder throughout her speech until she was almost shouting.

Then her eyes narrowed and she moved closer to Beca, invading her personal space. She leaned back slightly as Aubrey pushed her face towards hers and said 'Breathe on me.'

'Dude, what?' Beca stared at her incredulously wondering what the hell kinda crazy pills she was on.

'Breathe one me, Beca.' She repeated firmly.

The rest of the Bellas had stopped what they were doing and were watching intently.

'Why the hell would you want me to do that Aubrey?' She asked agitated. The captain was still in her face and it was starting to piss her off.

'I want you to do it because you have been tripping over your own feet through each of the routines when last week you could do them just fine! Because your eyes are bloodshot and to be honest, you look like hell. Now, breathe on me, Beca.' She stated, leaning back just a little to cross her arms. She raised her eyebrow as Beca continued to stare at her.

Finally it dawned on her what Aubrey was implying.

'Dude you think I'm drunk?!' She spluttered, eyes widening at the incredulousness of it.

Aubrey's eyebrow inched higher as she just stood there. Mouth agape Beca looked towards the other Bellas for help but they were all staring back at her with varying levels of concern. She jumped as she felt something touch her shoulder and whipped her head around to see Chloe standing there, her face contorted with worry.

'Just breathe on her Becs,' Chloe said, her hand moving to rub small circles on Beca's shoulder blade, 'If you haven't drunk anything then you have nothing to worry about.'

She was trying to sooth her but it came across slightly patronising and, okay, she'll admit that it kind of hurt that they thought she was drunk. At rehearsal no less. Shaking her head she shrugged out of Chloe's touch, ignoring the faint look of hurt on the girl's face. Turning back towards Aubrey, she too crossed her arms and the rest of the Bellas recognized the signs of a stand-off.

'Look Aubrey, I'm not drunk and there is no way in hell I would breathe on you even if I was. I'm only stumbling because I'm tired. You've been working us way too hard lately, I mean, jeez, it's a freaking college performance. There is nothing to win with this. No other groups for us to compete against. It isn't that important, so you need to calm the fuck down and give us a break.'

Beca was quite proud of herself for getting her point across without shouting. She continued to stare Aubrey in the eye as she waited for the blonde's reaction.

'Every performance is important, as a Bella you should know that. To be honest Beca you seem to be the only one struggling here, so get your act together before you screw everything up. Oh, and if you're so tired then you should be responsible and go to bed earlier.' Aubrey said, spinning on her heel and heading to the front of the room.

Beca sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She and Aubrey's relationship had gotten so much better since Nationals but now it felt as though everything was rewinding itself.

'Beca?' Came the hesitant voice of Chloe, still standing beside her, though it was actually more in front of her now.

Beca looked up to meet her gaze and saw that Chloe still seemed worried. She took a deep breath and gave her a small smile, hoping to take the expression off of her face. Chloe didn't seem to buy it though but thankfully she didn't say anything, just pulled Beca in for a quick hug and then took her place in the group. Beca shook herself slightly, stepped into place and waited for Aubrey to count them in.


	2. Chapter 2

She's laughing, bobbing her head along to some stupid pop song on the radio. Glancing to her left she laughed even harder as she saw her mom lip syncing to the song, her expressions exaggerated. She loved times like these, when her mom was so happy. After her dad had left Beca seemed to turn into the parent. She made sure her mom ate and slept and showered. She cooked dinner and did the laundry, she went grocery shopping after school instead of hanging out with her friends. That lasted for over a month before she came home one day to find the curtains open and a chicken in the oven. That was almost a year ago and now, at the age of twelve, Beca was able to do all the things that other kids her age did. Not that she actually did them, but the ability was there.

She was pulled from her memories as the sound of a horn reverberated through her eardrums. There was a sudden jolt and there they were, upside down on the side of the road. The windscreen cracked and the windows shattered. Beca panicked briefly as she turned to her mother and saw blood running down the side of her face, but then she moved, mumbling something under her breath. Beca sighed with relief and reached out to touch her mother, to offer some form of reassurance. But she wasn't in the car anymore. She could see the car and hear the car, but she wasn't in it. She was across the road, looking at her mother hanging upside down, trapped by her seatbelt. She started to move towards the car, calling out to mom but as she did so, she realised that she couldn't hear her own voice. Everything else was crystal clear but she couldn't make a sound. She took a deep breath to push the fresh wave of panic away, and that's when she smelt it. Burning.

The car was on fire. The car was on fire and her mother was still inside. She watched as the flames grew, spreading quickly across the car, heading towards the front. Beca knew she was screaming, she could feel it in her throat but still no sound came from her mouth. She tried to run to the car, desperate to reach her mother before the flames did.

Her legs felt like jelly and it seemed as though every step she took was more of a stumble. She wasn't gaining any distance, no matter how hard she tried. She was shrieking now.

'Mom! Get out!' She shrieked, continuing to push forward, 'Move mom! Please, you have to move!'

But no matter how much she screamed at her, her mother didn't budge. She just hung there as the flames crept forward. Slowly, Beca saw her mother turn to face her. She watched as panic flitted across her face, and her arm twitched, her hand uncurling, stretching, as though she were trying to reach for Beca. Then all Beca could see was fire.

Beca's eyes wrenched open. She was breathing hard, her clothes sticking to her and she realised that her pillow was damp. The tears were still leaking from her eyes. She wiped the sides of her face and sat up, pushing back the covers immediately. She looked over towards Kimmy-Jin, but that girl could sleep through anything and so she took her robe and shower stuff and headed to the bathroom.

Once there she turned one of the showers on and stepped inside. She ducked under the stream of water, letting it run down her body, washing away the nightmare. She washed her hair to get rid of all the sweat and scrubbed her body clean.

She started to think about the accident. The actual one, not the version in her dreams. It was a van that hit them. The driver had swerved to avoid some animal or something and that, combined with fact he was going over the speed limit, had caused him to hit their car hard. Hard enough that they flipped and he ended up sideways. Both her and her mom had gotten out though. It had taken the firemen over an hour to get her mom out, and two more to get Beca out. Beca's door had been crushed inwards on impact, meaning it was harder to get off. This also meant Beca's arm had been broken quite badly. She remembered her mom telling the paramedics that she wouldn't get into the ambulance until Beca was out too. She told them that she wouldn't leave her daughter. At one point when Beca's arm was hurting and the noise of the firemen's tools was giving her a headache, she started crying slightly. The female paramedic who was lying in the car near her tried to comfort her but Beca just kept telling her to leave her alone. Eventually her mom convinced them to let her lie beside Beca and for the rest of her time in that car she just held onto her mother's hand, like it was her lifeline.

Beca opened her eyes, not realising she had closed them. Looking down at her hands she saw that they were beginning to wrinkle and sighed, turning off the shower. Wrapping a towel around herself she stepped out of the shower and was met with a wave of dizziness. She leaned against the cold tile of the wall as the fuzzy blackness obscuring her vision slowly disappeared. It must have been the heat of the shower, she did have it quite high. Or it could have something to do with the fact that she didn't eat dinner last night and she can't actually having lunch either….. Beca pushed that thought from her mind, telling herself that she would grab something big for breakfast to make up for it and headed back to her dorm.

* * *

'It's just two more days until the performance ladies!'

Beca wasn't really paying attention, more focused on the rolling nausea in her stomach. She had eaten breakfast, though it had only been some kind of cereal bar from the vending machine. This had been due to the fact that after her shower she became engrossed in another mix she was making and Kimmy-Jin, being the delightful person she is, didn't mention to Beca that she was leaving for class. The same one that Beca was actually taking that morning. Hence, she had been late and had to grab food between classes that day.

Rehearsal today was scheduled from 1:00 until 2:30 and since it was such a small amount of time, Aubrey wanted them to work hard and had already run the routine seven times. It was only 1:45. The group were all sitting at the moment, a rare break granted by Aubrey, however she was giving them another one of her speeches, meaning that their break, wasn't really much of a break.

'I must say I am proud of you all for what you have achieved this year, especially within these past few weeks. Though some may have worked harder than others.' This was said with a pointed look towards Beca.

She couldn't really bring herself to care though, or even to give Aubrey the 'Do I look like I give a shit?' expression that wound her up so much. The feeling in her stomach didn't seem to want to go away any time soon, it actually seemed to be getting worse. She squeezed her arms slightly over her stomach, as if pressure would help to supress the feeling, like it did with cramps. This made it ten times worse however and so she let her arms drop to her sides, holding tight to the seat of her chair and breathing deeply. She was trying to do it subtly, because the last thing she needed today was an interrogation. However, fate seemed to really hate her because a very loud, accented voice called out just then.

'You alright there, Shawshank? You look a little paler than usual.'

Everybody turned to face her at that point, even Aubrey stopped speaking to stare at Beca. She looked up at the group, shifting uncomfortably and all the while trying to avoid looking into those bright blue eyes that always seemed to make her want to tell someone. Tell them about the dreams that keep her up every night, the reason she stumbles when she walks and why she's always so damn tired.

She realised that everyone was still staring, waiting on an answer. So she decided to play it innocent.

'Really?' She said, furrowing her eyebrows as though she was genuinely confused. 'I feel fine, so I'm not really sure what's going on with that.'

She added a slight smile at the end, an attempt to make her lie more believable. Though as the rest of the group turned away, satisfied with her answer, she stupidly let her gaze slide slightly to the left. Chloe looked anything but satisfied. In fact she looked kind of annoyed and when Beca made eye contact with her, her eyebrow arched into her hairline. Beca tore her eyes away and looked towards the front, feeling as though that were a much safer option. However Aubrey had been watching Chloe and, in seeing her expression, mirrored it with one of her own. Meaning Beca was looking into the second set of irritated and seemingly disapproving eyes within the space of ten seconds.

She took to staring at the back of Lilly's head, refusing to look up, even when Aubrey cleared her throat before beginning to talk.

'Well, I would say that our break has been long enough. Let's get back to work shall we?'

A series of groans echoed through the hall as the Bellas got to their feet. Beca groaned too, though hers was more from actual pain than anything else. She was grateful for the fact that the routines were more or less a second nature by now, because for the rest of practice Beca had to pay practically all of her attention to fighting the rising nausea while avoiding two sets of curious eyes.

* * *

'Let's hear it again for the amazing Barden Bellas!' The Dean called out to crowd of students, as the group of girls left the stage after their last routine.

Once backstage, Beca was pulled into the excited circle of jumping, shrieking girls. The students' applause was loud enough to cover any sound the girls made and so Aubrey allowed the Bellas to carry this on for over a minute before signalling to them to quiet down. She led them through the exit and out onto the grounds where all the girls immediately started shrieking again. All except Beca that is, who stood awkwardly off to the side, an arm wrapped around her stomach.

In the past two nights combined she had managed to get roughly twelve hours sleep. Mostly due to Amy's alcohol mix. A vile tasting mixture of God knows what alcohol, which always managed to knock Beca flat out, usually resulting in her being unable to remember the events of the previous night. It really helped to keep the nightmares at bay, but Beca refused to become dependent on alcohol to fix her shit and so only used it in times of dire need. Such as when the Bellas had a performance. God knows she didn't need a reason for Aubrey to be pissed at her right now, she had way too much to deal with as it was.

Her thoughts trailed off as she was pulled tight against someone, squeezing all the air out of her, and almost squeezing out the contents of her stomach. Which, to be fair, wasn't much. Beca was relieved that she didn't empty that carton of yogurt all over the person hugging her, and was even more relieved when she realised it was Chloe. If that had happened then there was no way she would get out of the questions the redhead always seemed to have.

Chloe was still holding on tightly and didn't seem to want to let go, so Beca wrapped her arms around Chloe's waist and tightened her hold ever so slightly. Chloe was the one person that Beca really let hug her like this. Yeah, Aubrey and she had a nice moment after their performance at Nationals but Aubrey had let go rather quickly and disappeared into the group. At the time Beca had been confused. The hug had felt nice to her, even though she wouldn't ever admit it, and she wasn't sure why Aubrey had pulled away. Though if it was to go hug Chloe she would understand, because right now, pressed against Chloe, Beca was starting to squirm. Chloe's body was pressed right up against Beca's and she was getting a little warm. She blushed hard as she realised her thought weren't exactly PG at the moment and to prevent herself from doing something stupid Beca took her hands away from Chloe's waist, hoping to signal that the hug was over, on her end at least.

Thankfully Chloe took the hint and unwrapped herself from Beca, giving her a huge smile as she pulled away.

'You hugged me.' She said, amusement in her tone.

Beca raised her eyebrow as if to say 'So?' and challenging Chloe explain.

'Beca, the I have no emotions badass, hugged me.' Chloe said, her smile growing even bigger.

'Well, technically you hugged me.' Beca pointed out, raising her eyebrow at Chloe's glee.

'Yeah, but you hugged me back. I know you'll never admit it, but you liked it Beca. You liked a hug.' Chloe announced rather loudly, causing a few of the Bellas to turn their heads.

'You're insane.' Was all Beca said as she made her way over to the group, Chloe following behind like an eager puppy.

'Well, congratulations everyone, you all did wonderfully. Now, there are no rehearsals until Monday. I think you all deserve a break before we start to work on the next routines.' Aubrey declared.

Three days. The Bellas had three days before having to step inside the gym again. Beca planned on sleeping as much as she could and working on her mixes. Avoiding pretty much everyone went along with those plans, so she was pretty happy. No one to ask questions about the bags under her eyes or the weight she had lost. She was home free for the weekend.

'Let's have a sleepover!'

Wait, what? Beca prayed to all that was mighty that Stacie had not actually uttered those four words. However, once again, fate just wasn't on her side. All the other Bellas thought it was great idea, even Aubrey agreed. Chloe seemed to especially agree as she said,

'We can have it at mine and Aubrey's apartment. It's off campus, so any noise we make won't disturb anyone.'

Everyone uttered some form of agreement and they all turned to look at Beca, realising that she hadn't said a word. She grimaced slightly.

'Guys, I….' She looked into deep blue eyes, wide and expecting. She sighed, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose.

'I guess I'm in.'

Cheers broke out from some of the girls, including Chloe, who rushed to hug Beca again.

'Oh my God! It's gonna be so much fun!' She squealed, directly into Beca's ear.

Beca winced and sighed slightly as the redhead bounced away to start making plans with the girls. What the hell had she gotten herself into?

* * *

 **Okay, so I keep forgetting how to do stuff on here and it is getting so annoying. Anyways, I hope you like the chapter. I kind of used half my idea for the next chapter in here because I am going away on a trip for a while and won't be able to post** **Sorry! By the way, I realised that I never mentioned the fact that I am kinda ignoring Jesse's existence in this story. He may appear but probs not, so sorry to those who want him to. It is 2:00 right now so I'm just gonna go to sleep and let you read this. Tell me what you think. Night.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry, I know it's been a while. I just got back from a trip to Vienna and managed to get tonsillitis, so I haven't been feeling up to doing much recently. I'll try to update within a week but I'm not entirely sure where this is going, I'll still try though. Hope you guys are having a good day or night or whatever it is where you guys are! :) Hope you guys have a great week next week!**

* * *

It was 9:01 PM. The sleepover had officially started at 9:00 but Beca was still standing outside. She really didn't want to go in. She couldn't. If she went to sleep then chances were she was going to have a nightmare. She would look like such an idiot. Waking up all the other girls by crying over something that didn't actually happen was not something she was going to do. It made her look so weak and that wasn't okay with Beca. She was so used to dealing with things on her own that getting help had started to seem, unacceptable.

Looking back down at her watch Beca realised she was now five minutes late. Aubrey was going to throw such a fit and wouldn't that be a fun start to this already horrific night…unless she didn't go in. She could claim she was ill or something. Maybe cramps would be a good excuse, the Bellas would have to understand that, surely. Just as Beca made up her mind to magically fall ill, the door opened.

'Are you planning on sleeping out here?' Aubrey asked, raising her eyebrow slightly.

That eyebrow caused many problems for Beca. It was irritating to say the least but it also had the ability to make Beca squirm, something she wasn't overly pleased about. Pushing her shoulders back, Beca took a deep breath and tipped her head to the side, crossing her arms.

'Actually yeah. Care to join?'

Aubrey rolled her eyes and lent against the frame of the door.

'Can you even go one sentence without being sarcastic?' She asks, exasperated.

Beca smirks, loving that she seems to be able to get under Aubrey's skin so easily.

'Yeah well, sarcasm keeps me from telling people what I really think of them, so it's a win, win situation Posen.' Beca says, still smirking even as she realises exactly how much she just revealed.

Aubrey's eyes narrowed and she walked the short distance to stand in front of Beca. She raised that evil eyebrow again and crossed her arms, jutting her hip to one side.

'Really?' She asked, leaning in slightly as she did so.

Beca swallowed, she had been leaning against the wall whilst hovering outside and now realised that it left her no room to move away from Aubrey. Not without brushing past her anyway and for some reason, Beca felt as though that would make the situation worse. Bringing her eyes level with Aubrey's, even as she tilted her head down, she said,

'Yeah, really.' With as much confidence as she could muster. Which wasn't enough to stop Aubrey from asking,

'Well then, what do you really think of me?'

Was Beca imagining it or did Aubrey press even closer as she asked that? Beca tried hard to keep her eyes on Aubrey's, she had never had a problem with it before but Aubrey was really close. As in Beca could feel her body heat close and it was messing with Beca's head slightly. Aubrey cleared her throat quietly and Beca realised she had let her eyes drop without thinking. She now appeared to be staring at her chest. Oh, shit.

Beca raised her eyes once more to meet Aubrey's and realised that her eyebrow had practically disappeared into her hairline. Her lips were settled into a slight smirk that seemed to be equal parts amused and mocking. Beca felt a small blush spread across her cheeks and she subtly squirmed in place as she tried to figure out a way to diffuse the awkward situation.

Turns out she didn't have to as the door behind Aubrey opened wider and Chloe stepped into the hall.

'Hey Bree, how come - ' Chloe halted mid question as she caught sight of Beca, 'Oh my God, you actually came! Hi!' She squealed, pushing into the miniscule gap between Aubrey and Beca to wrap her arms around the younger girl.

Beca watched as Aubrey took a step back, giving Beca another small smirk before once again leaning against the doorframe of the apartment. Feeling as though she had just experienced enough space invasion to last her a life time, Beca placed her arms on Chloe's hips and gently pushed her away. Chloe pouted as she pulled back, a slight questioning look in her eyes but thankfully she didn't say anything, just grabbed Beca's bag and held out her hand. Beca rolled her eyes, folding her arms across her chest and giving Chloe a pointed look. Chloe shrugged and let her hand fall back to her side, not in the least disheartened by Beca's refusal. Beca smiled slightly at the familiarity of herself and Chloe and pushed off the wall to head into the apartment. At least that's where she would have gone had her vision not gone fuzzy and black.

Beca stumbled and flung her arm out to try to grab onto something to stop her from falling. Her efforts were met with someone else taking hold of her extended arm. Seeing as it was her only option, she leant against the person holding her arm. Leaving them to support most of her weight, she pulled her other hand up to her eyes, covering them and squeezing them shut in hopes that it would help to clear her vision.

After what felt like minutes but was probably only thirty seconds, Beca could see clearly again but she still felt quite shaky. Realising that she was still leaning on someone Beca went to move away, only to be met with the grip on her arm tightening. She looked up to see Aubrey watching her with a frown. She quickly moved her eyes to find Chloe standing off to the side, her expression one of extreme concern. She actually looked kind of upset, to be honest. Beca shook her head, trying to pull away from Aubrey again but Aubrey wasn't having any of it. She slid her arm behind Beca to rest on the small of her back, gently pushing her forward into the apartment, all the while keeping a tight grip on Beca's upper arm.

Beca relented, letting Aubrey push/lead her into the apartment where she was met with a blast of music. She looked around to see all the girls either dancing or drinking, most doing both. She caught a glimpse of Amy in what looked like the kitchen, mixing various bottles of alcohol together in a huge plastic bowl. Shaking her with a sigh she realised that Amy would most likely make her drink some of that, whatever she was calling it now.

Beca was pulled out of her thoughts as Aubrey gently pushed her down into a chair. Beca glanced up to see the frown still on her face. Aubrey opened her mouth, no doubt to start questioning Beca's earlier episode. However, before she could get a word out, Beca's knight in shining armour appeared. In the form of Stacie.

'Beca!'

Beca could tell the girl was already slightly tipsy. Stacie grabbed onto Beca's forearms and hauled her out of the chair.

'Beca, come dance with me! This sleepover is aca-awesome!' Stacie practically shouted.

Beca winced slightly but stepped towards the mob of dancing girls. Even dancing sounded better than talking to Aubrey right now. However, Aubrey's arm reached out to grip the back of Beca's shirt.

'Stacie, I don't think…'

The rest of Aubrey's sentence was cut off as Beca pulled away from her grip and marched into the throng of girls, Stacie in tow. Taking the glass that Stacie now had in her hand, she threw the drink back and placed it on a coffee table. She put her arms up and began to move her hips in an attempt to copy Stacie's movements and eventually found her own beat to move to, with the help of Amy's magic mix that is.

* * *

Over an hour of dancing and drinking and Beca was still going strong. She thinks it has more to do with how buzzed she is then anything else. Opening her eyes as she's bumped into yet again, her vision is assaulted by red. It takes her a second to realise that it's the back of Chloe's head. It takes her another couple of seconds to realise that Chloe has now turned around and is dancing even closer to Beca than before. She's practically on top of the girl. The thought makes Beca flush slightly but she shakes her head and blames the alcohol.

Closing her eyes again Beca lets her hips move to the beat and loses herself. This is the closest she has ever been to actually letting go with the Bellas and she finds it surprising that she is enjoying herself immensely. However, she tenses slightly when she feels Chloe moving in closer, close enough that Beca can smell the shampoo she uses. Strawberry, it's nice. Beca's eyes snap open as she realises how creepy that is and as she attempts to shift away from the redhead, she finds herself making eye contact with the blonde across the room. Aubrey's expression is one that Beca can't decipher and trying to do so will probably end up giving her a headache, so instead Beca returns her focus to extracting herself from the mob of girls and flopping down onto the couch.

Beca immediately curls up in the corner, placing an elbow on the arm of the couch and resting her head in her hand. Her moment of solitude is quickly broken though, as Beca feels the couch dip slightly. Raising her head to look sideways she's met with the unbearably bright grin of a pretty far gone redhead. Stifling a groan that Chloe is the one to sit with her, Beca shifts so that she is curled up facing Chloe instead of the armrest.

Beca expects questions. Why did you get dizzy? Why do you look like crap? Stuff like that but all Chloe does is let her head fall onto Beca's shoulder, snuggling into her side. Beca attempts to shift away but Chloe's arms wrap around one of Beca's, essentially hugging it and trapping her on the couch.

Beca is about to try to dislodge the redhead when one of the girls calls out,

'Movie time!'

Beca lets her head fall against the back of the couch and groans. She hates movies and the Bellas know this. Yeah, The Breakfast Club was alright but pretty much every other movie sucks. So not only does she have to sit through a potentially sucky movie without falling asleep but she has to do it with Chloe practically sitting on top of her. The girl really needs to learn the words personal space.

* * *

As it turns out, staying awake isn't that hard. The movie wasn't the worst thing Beca had ever seen, still predictable but it was a horror film and it was pretty funny to see the characters die. Every time anything freaky happened pretty much everyone would shriek. Jessica and Ashley were on the floor clutching each other. Lilly was sat sideways in an arm chair and had been completely silent throughout the movie. Well, chances were she did say something but no-one heard anything. Stacie was lying on her stomach, completely engrossed with the film as Cynthia-Rose sat cross legged next to her. Fat Amy was leaning against the couch, right where Beca's feet would be if she stretched out. Aubrey had chosen to sit on the other side of Chloe but with the lights off Beca had a hard enough time figuring out where she ended and where Chloe started so remembering that Aubrey was there wasn't exactly priority.

Chloe jumped as another scream came from the TV, echoed by the rest of the Bellas. Beca reached her arm out to pat her leg in an attempt to provide comfort. Considering she had placed her closest arm along the back of the sofa, she was now essentially hugging Chloe. Realising this Beca went to pull back, only for a hand to shoot out and grab hers as one of the main characters was being dragged away. Beca stiffened at the contact. Both of Chloe's hands were fisted in the material of Beca's shirt, so it had to have been Aubrey's hand. She must have thought she was grabbing Chloe. When Aubrey didn't let go Beca sighed. She couldn't be bothered to pull her hand away and have to explain the situation, so she just tried to ignore the fact that Aubrey's thumb was now rubbing circles on the back of Beca's hand.

* * *

The lights came back on, blinding Beca for a moment. She felt Aubrey's hand retract from hers and looked up to see the blonde smiling softly at her before turning to the rest of the girls.

'Alright ladies, it's almost one AM so we should get some sleep.' Aubrey announced.

No-one really protested, apart from Amy who mumbled something about 'the wild parties where no-one slept for weeks' she had been to. Aubrey just looked at her.

'Anyway, we have two blow up mattresses, one single and one double. The single will be put in here and the couch is a pull out. Cynthia-Rose, Lilly and Fat Amy will be in here. Jessica and Ashley, you two will be in Chloe's room. It's a double bed so don't worry. The rest of us will be in my room with the blow up double.'

Beca rolled her eyes, trust Aubrey to have planned this down to a tee. Then she froze. Wait, the rest of us? Aubrey hadn't said Beca's name, meaning she was included in the 'rest of us' group. Meaning she was sleeping in Aubrey's room. Meaning she was either sharing a bed with her, Stacie or Chloe. This was not going to end well.

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 **Hope you guys enjoyed! Let me know what you think and maybe tell me a little about youselves. I want to know about you awesome people and as long as they are appropriate I'll answer any questions you ask :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**So it is two in the morning and I am extremely tired so sorry if it's a crappy chapter. I've been writing for about three hours now, watching youtube during breaks. Hope you guys enjoy and let me know what you think! I'm off to sleep. Peace.**

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'That's what you sleep in?!' Chloe exclaimed from her place on the bed.

Beca looked down at herself, confused. She was wearing dark sleep shorts and a loose-ish tank top, nothing weird.

'Umm, yeah. Dude you're wearing pretty much the same thing.'

It was true. All of them were really. Stacie had on some of the shortest shorts Beca had ever seen, to be honest they didn't even deserve the name shorts in Beca's opinion. She was wearing a tight fitting tank that came to just below her belly button. When Aubrey raised her eyebrow, Stacie had made a comment about getting too hot when she slept and of course, somehow, made it sound a lot more seductive then it should have been.

Chloe happened to be wearing pretty similar shorts to Beca, however she was wearing a pink flannel night shirt and so had a bit more coverage. In all fairness though, Beca did bring a cardigan, she just wasn't wearing it right now. Aubrey's pyjamas matched, of course. Light blue shorts with a white tie paired with a white tank top that had blue lace around the edges. They looked prim and proper, perfectly matched to Aubrey's personality. Beca internally rolled her eyes at that thought.

Making her way to her bag she unceremoniously stuffed her clothes into it. She had been the last one to change out of the four of them though she hadn't had to wait long considering Chloe and Aubrey had changed in the bathroom together and Stacie having absolutely no inhibitions whatsoever had just stripped off in the middle of the room, leaving Beca to awkwardly stare at a wall.

Beca looked up to see Chloe still gawking at her, Aubrey's gaze seemed to be lingering too and it was making her uncomfortable, what the hell was wrong with her outfit. She rolled her eyes at them, holding her hands out in a 'what?!' kind of way. Aubrey's gaze snapped to Stacie, whom she immediately began talking to but Chloe took a little longer to avert her eyes, shaking her head slightly before meeting Beca's eyes with a wide grin.

'Right aca-bitches, who's sleeping where?' Stacie asked, cocking her hip to one side and placing her hand on it, the other one holding onto a bed post.

'Oh, well, I don't mind. I'll share with anyone and I don't mind air mattresses.' Said Chloe, absently running her fingers over the bedframe.

'Well that's great because I hate them.' Stacie announced turning to Aubrey with slightly pleading eyes, 'So please don't make me sleep on it.'

Aubrey looked faintly amused by this and turned to Beca.

'What about you?' She asked

'I don't care.' Beca stated with a shrug. It's not like she would be sleeping anyways.

'Ok, then Stacie and I will share my bed. You two get the air mattress.'

Shit. Beca froze slightly in her search for her earphones. Was she really tired enough to have not put two and two together? Jeez. She should have said that she couldn't sleep on the floor. Aubrey being the perfect host she always is surely would have let Stacie and Beca share the bed. To be honest Beca would have said she was afraid of monsters under the bed if it meant sharing with Stacie.

Unfortunately for Beca, she was now sharing with Chloe and couldn't exactly refuse could she? No. That would hurt Chloe, and the idea of anyone hurting Chloe, let alone her, made Beca angry and slightly sad. She told herself it was because Chloe was her best friend but she felt the same when she thought about Aubrey and they were barely friends.

Beca shook herself out of her thoughts. Refusing to dwell on and subsequently freak out about the way she now seemed to feel when in close proximity to either Chloe or Aubrey. Continuing her search for her earphones she finally emerged triumphant and turned to climb into bed. Or rather, climb into mattress.

She slid under the covers, staying right on the edge so as to keep space between herself and Chloe. After manoeuvring she into a mostly comfortable position Beca looked up to see Chloe, lying on her side, watching her. Beca frowned in question, tilting her head to the side slightly.

'Why did you bring earphones?' Chloe asked, her own head tilting to the side as she did.

'Oh…..um, music kinda, like, helps me sleep so…' Beca stumbled through her lie awkwardly, she actually planned on listening to anything with a heavy beat to help keep her awake. Beca bit her lip in anticipation that Chloe wouldn't question it.

Thankfully she didn't, just nodding her head slightly before turning onto her front to face the bed. Beca moved onto her side, holding her head up on one hand as she looked towards the bed. Stacie was sitting cross-legged at the end, her arms folded onto the bed frame and her head resting on top of them. Aubrey was sat slightly sideways so that she could lean into the frame instead.

'Ok, so, in the tradition of like, every sleepover, everywhere, we need to talk about boys.'

Beca's eyebrows raise at Stacie's comment and from the look on Stacie's face Aubrey's eyebrows have done the same. The idea that she and Aubrey are similar in any way made Beca feel strangely happy.

Chloe however seems to think that it's a brilliant idea and shifts, excitedly onto her knees, jolting Beca in the process. She glared at the side of Chloe's face and tried to move back into her original position, however due to Chloe's movement the mattress had changed shape slightly meaning Beca was slipping from her side. Sighing she resigned herself to sitting up, tucking one leg underneath her and holding onto her other knee.

'Are we all sitting comfortably?' Stacie teases, mainly looking at Beca as she finally stops shifting.

Beca rolls her eyes before replying.

'Yes, I do believe we are. Thank you so much for asking.' She said, making the sarcasm clear as day.

Chloe turns to her briefly flashing her a wide, amused grin before looking back to Stacie. The taller girl also grinned at Beca, her smile looking slightly more mischievous.

'I want to know everything. Got a boyfriend we don't know about? Seen a cute guy recently? Got a crush?' Stacie asked turning to look at all three of the other girls in turn.

'Or maybe even a girlfriend we don't know about?' Stacie's grin grew even wider. 'Maybe you've seen a cute girl recently?'

Stacie's eyes had landed on Beca at this point, though Beca wasn't sure why. She raised her eyebrows.

'What are you looking at me for? I got nothing.' Beca said, hoping to turn the girl's attention to one of the others. Stacie's eyes just narrowed though.

'Really? Nothing? There's no-one you've seen that you even remotely like the look of?'

Beca shook her head determinedly, but this seemed to spur Stacie on.

'No-one who makes you feel something? Anything? No warm, fuzzies when you see them smile or laugh or even just look your way? No flutter in your chest or stomach when they talk to you? No jealousy when you think of them being with other people?'

Stacie's questions were relentless and now even Aubrey and Chloe were watching Beca intently. Somewhere in the middle of Stacie's small speech however, Beca had started to realise that she did feel those things. Most of them anyway. And she felt them all about two of the three people sitting in this room with her. One of whom was in close proximity.

Beca felt a tell-tale blush begin to creep up her cheeks and, and not for the first time, cursed her pale complexion. The light was dim in Aubrey's room, due to the girls only having a lamp and some fairy lights as their source and so Beca hoped they wouldn't be able to see. She looked down anyway, trying to mask the growing blush as best she could. As luck would have it, Stacie saw anyway and wasted no time in pointing it out.

'Blushing! She's blushing!' Stacie exclaimed, pointing at Beca in excitement. 'Tell me.' She said, continuing to point.

'Dude, there's nothing to tell.' Beca said, spreading her hands out in front of her.

Seeing the look on Stacie's face she added,

'And even if there was, why should I tell you?'

Stacie smiled sweetly, which, in Beca's books, was never a good sign.

'Because Beca,' She replied in a sing-song voice, 'if you don't, I'll be forced to take action, and tickle it out of you.' Stacie's smile grew wicked at the end.

But Beca froze, her eyes going wide. Stacie had found out that Beca was ticklish just before Nationals. She had mentioned that Beca seemed a bit stiff when doing one of the dance moves and placed her hands high on Beca's sides to show her how to turn. Beca had squealed, yes squealed, and jumped away. Stacie had taunted her for almost half an hour before Beca was able to swear her to secrecy.

Beca watched as the realization of what she just said dawned on Stacie. The girl's eyes going comically wide.

'Oh….oops?'

Beca stared incredulous that, that was all Stacie could say. This girl could lie her way out of most assignment deadlines but when her friend needed her, all she come up with was oops?

Beca turned her eyes to Aubrey, who looked pretty amused with this whole situation but thank God she hadn't commented yet. That's when Beca felt the mattress shift.

She slowly turned her head to face Chloe, a feeling of dread creeping up her spine. One look at Chloe's face was enough to tell her that she was in trouble. The red head was biting down on her lip, her smirk still clear to see. Her eyes were bright and Beca knew that this spelt trouble.

She shifted, trying to place even more distance between her and Chloe, while still staying on the mattress. Placing her hands out in front of her to play defence she looked Chloe in the eye.

'Dude, no.'

But Chloe paid her no head, her hands shooting towards Beca. Despite having some of the worst reflexes, Beca managed to catch Chloe hands and the two lapsed into a strange sort of wrestling match, writhing around on the mattress trying to get the upper hand.

Beca keeps a hold of Chloe's wrists the entire, not wanting to risk her getting a sneaky shot to her ribs. This proved a little difficult though, due to the fact that Chloe was squirming around all over the place, pulling Beca with her. Eventually the shuffling came to an end. Beca moved her eyes up from her clasp around Chloe's wrists to stare into the electric blue eyes resting just inches from hers.

The two were close enough that Beca could feel Chloe's breath on her lips, making her brain short circuit slightly. A funny feeling that always overtook her when she got this close to either of the captains made Beca shiver slightly. Chloe's lips were so close, Beca couldn't stop her eyes from darting down to look at them. If she moved in just a bit closer….

'Beca and Chloe, sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!' Stacie's voice broke Beca from her reverie.

Confused by her thoughts and her body's reactions, Beca scrambled to sit up, which was a lot harder to do considering her and Chloe's legs had managed to get tangled up. She was sure she kicked the poor girl at least three times and elbowed her twice but Chloe didn't complain. She just gave Beca a soft smile as she turned onto her stomach, looking back towards the girls on the bed. Her gaze managed to land on Aubrey, once again seeing a strange expression on the blonde's face. It was the same expression Beca had seen earlier, when dancing. Except this time Aubrey was smiling, it was faint but it was definitely a smile. This just served to confuse Beca even more. She shook her head needing to get read of all the weird thoughts she'd been having.

'To go against the typical idea of a _sleep_ over, can we actually go to sleep?' Beca queried. Anything to get her out of this situation would be great right now.

Aubrey seemed to come back to herself slightly and straightened up.

'We should. Sleep that is. Lack of sleep can lead to a great deal of health problems, you know.'

Beca rolled her eyes, like she needed reminding. Settling down under the duvet, Beca shifted to the very edge of the mattress as the lights were turned off. She suddenly remembered the comments Chloe had made earlier about her pyjamas and became extremely aware of how little they were both wearing. Beca went rigid, not wanting to brush against any part of Chloe, in fear of how her body may react. She did not need any more confusion tonight, she really didn't.

Beca feels Chloe shift slightly and freezes up even more. Chloe doesn't stop moving however, until she is pressed up against Beca's side, her mouth next to Beca's ear.

'You can stretch out you know, I don't bite.' She giggled softly at the end of her sentence.

Beca kept still until Chloe had moved back to her original position and for a few minutes after that. Then she slowly relaxed, shifting slightly so that she doesn't fall off the mattress. She lets her hand fall into the dip of the mattress but freezes as it brushes against something warm. Realizing it must be Chloe's thigh Beca goes to pull her hand away but stops as Chloe hums sleepily. Her fingers tangle with Beca's pressing her hand slightly into her thigh.

Beca's heart is hammering in her chest despite her best attempts at making it stop. She can't reach her headphones without jolting Chloe now, meaning she'll have to stay awake some other way. Beca figured it couldn't be too hard, the distraction of Chloe's thigh would be enough to keep her mind racing for the rest of the night.

* * *

Beca screamed for the oncoming truck to stop. Her mom was still in the car and it was going to hit it. She screamed but no sound was coming out. The truck was coming closer and all she could do was watch.

Gasping for breath, Beca bolted upright. Realising that the sensation in her stomach was nausea Beca began breathing deeply as quietly as possible, pushing it down until it was almost non-existent. She brought her hands up to wipe away the tears she knew would be there, scrubbing at her face. This one had been new. She'd never had a nightmare like that. If they got any worse Beca didn't think she would want to go to sleep anymore.

'Fuck.' Beca buried her head in her hands, resigning herself to being awake. She turned to look for her headphones, might as well entertain herself.

Then someone moved.

'Beca?'


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, I know I'm a little late with this so I'm sorry. I'm also sorry to say that updates may become every two weeks, which I know is a long time for an amateur story but I'm struggling here. Anyway, I had to change this chapter a little bit because it was supposed to be Chloe who said 'Beca?' but someone requested Aubrey and I panicked. Anyways I hope you guys like it!**

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Beca froze. For some reason she seemed to think that if she stayed completely still nobody could see her. It was a childish hope really, comparable to the 'if I can't see you, you can't see me rule'. So of course it didn't work.

'Beca? Are you-' Stacie was cut off as Beca shushed her furiously. Chloe had stirred slightly in her sleep, turning over to face Beca. Luckily she didn't fully wake up, her eyes staying closed and soft snores permeating the air.

Beca shuffled off the air mattress carefully, freezing every time it jolted. Eventually she found herself sitting on the plush carpet of Aubrey's room and, after untangling her legs from the duvet, made her way to Stacie, who was standing at the door of the room.

She took Stacie's arm, pushing her back out of the open door until they were standing in the small hallway just outside. Closing the door with extreme care, Beca ran a hand through her hair and turned to face Stacie. The taller girl looked slightly confused but also concerned. Probably due to Beca's behaviour but it was better than waking Chloe up. See, Beca could lie to Stacie, tell her that she had to use the bathroom and just really didn't want to disturb anyone. Stacie would maybe tease her about being a softie or something but buy it none the less. Chloe however would see straight through the lie and use those eyes of hers to get the information. Aubrey would do the same but with her eyebrows instead. Beca shuddered, could probably get a confession from even the hardest of criminals. If both of them had woken up….. Beca shook her head, not really wanting to dwell on it.

'Are you okay Beca?' Stacie asked, pulling Beca from her thoughts.

'Oh, yeah, sorry. I was just listening to make sure we didn't wake them.' Beca said, not whispering but not speaking at her normal volume either.

'Okay, but what were you doing up anyway?' Stacie tilted her head to the side, a habit that Beca had picked up from the girl.

'Had to pee, what about you?' Beca replied quickly, attempting to move the conversation on.

'I woke up thirsty, went to get a drink. Are you sure you're okay?' Stacie's eyebrows drew together, her expression even more concerned than before.

Beca felt a stir of panic before squashing it down. She crossed her arms and pulled a smirk onto her face.

'Yeah, Stace, I'm pretty sure.' She said, nodding her head slightly sarcastically.

'Kay.' Stacie was biting her lip, unsure of herself. 'It's just you swore.'

Beca's expression must have changed slightly as Stacie hurried to carry on.

'When I came in you swore and you sounded kind of upset. I thought I woke you up but you weren't looking at me, so….' Stacie trailed off, her eyebrows raising in a silent question.

The panic came back full force, making her head spin. She couldn't push it down this time and so just hoped to God that it wasn't apparent on her face. Tilting her head to the side, she quirked an eyebrow at the taller girl.

'Me? Upset? Really, Stace? I thought you knew me better.' She said.

'What about the swearing then?' Stacie asked, also crossing her arms. It didn't look like she letting this one go. Beca groaned internally.

'Chloe was wrapped around me. I was trying to figure out a way to get up without waking her up.'

Stacie continued to stare at Beca for a while, her eyes narrowing in scrutiny. Beca struggled to keep her face passive as panic rampaged through her body. Finally, the girl sighed and uncrossed her arms to reach for the doorknob.

'Better go to the bathroom then Mitchell. You're probably bursting by now.'

With that Stacie disappeared into the dark room, leaving the door slightly ajar. Beca made her way into the bathroom, which just so happened to be across the hall from Aubrey's room. Closing the door and locking it, she put the seat of the toilet down and dropped onto it. She folded her arms across her knees and placed her head on them with a sigh. She could feel tears building in her eyes, though she had no idea why. It was probably the lack of sleep, she told herself. The tears began to drip out of her eyes of their own accord, splashing onto the tiled floor. She pulled her head up and wiped them away, angry with herself. Her hands made their way into her hair, tugging on it sharply.

'God, you're just being stupid now.' She whispered to herself, in a desperate attempt to stop the tears that were now cascading down her face.

She tightened the grip she had on her hair, using the discomfort to distract herself from everything. Beca had no idea what to do. Clearly she hadn't given Stacie enough credit when it came to being observant. She had known there was something wrong straight away. She must have known otherwise she wouldn't have kept pressing. Christ, this was becoming a disaster. Her stupid nightmares were ruining everything. The worst thing was that nothing bad had actually happened. Yes there was a crash, and yes Beca had been scared, but her mom was alive. The only bad thing here was Beca's head. The imagination she used to create her mixes during the day was turning against her at night and there wasn't a single thing she seemed to be able to do about it. And she had tried.

Sleeping pills only made it harder to wake up, trapping her inside her own head and keeping her there as different scenarios played through her mind. She had only tried them once before flushing the rest. Staying up until she was too exhausted to dream sometimes worked but doing that lead to slipping grades and falling asleep in class. That ended up with Beca seeing the school guidance counsellor and a call home. Her mom had freaked.

Alcohol never worked and it just gave her a headache when she woke up. Speaking of which, Beca winced as she finally acknowledged the throbbing in her head. It wasn't as bad as it could have been all things considered and it might actually have been due to the incessant tugging of her hair but Beca wasn't exactly sure. Relinquishing her hold on her hair Beca rubbed at her scalp slightly and turned the tap on. Using her hands as a cup she drank a few mouthfuls of water before turning the tap off again.

She braced her hands on the sink as she looked into the mirror above it. Her face was pale, as usual, but the skin underneath her eyes looked sunken and bruised. It stood out sharply and Beca sighed as she realised how much make-up she would need to apply to cover it all up. Though the tears had long since stopped, Beca's eyes were red rimmed and there were dried tracks all down her face. She looked awful.

Beca was startled out of her moment of self-pity by a tap on the door.

'Beca, are you still in there?' Stacie's muffled voice came through the wood. The knob rattling as the girl tried to open the door.

Beca's eyes widened as she scrubbed at her face hurriedly, striding over to the door. Beca had no idea if the other girls were light sleepers, but she sure as hell wasn't going to chance it right now. She twisted the lock sharply and opened the door just enough for Stacie to see her face. Apparently she hadn't scrubbed hard enough because the next thing she knew Stacie had pushed her way into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind her.

Beca started twisting the hem of her top, a habit usually reserved for her sleeves. She always did it when she was nervous or upset, normally without even realising it. Stacie was looking at her, concern plastered across her face. Beca pulled her hands away from her top cross them over her chest, this girl didn't give up.

'What, I can't go to the bathroom by myself now? Jeez Stace, when they said it was a tight knit group, I don't think they meant this tight.' Beca said, allowing her natural defence system take over. Well, to be honest, sarcasm was her natural everything.

Beca expected Stacie to come back with an equally sarcastic retort, or even better, she'd leave. However, Beca's nerves (and annoyance) grew as Stacie also crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing. The stance said it all. Stacie wanted the bullshit to stop and she wanted it to stop right now.

'You've been in her for twenty minutes and you've been crying. Why?'

Beca was taken aback slightly by that. Had it really been twenty minutes? How did she not notice that?

At Beca's lack of response Stacie sighed, dropping her arms to cross over her stomach.

'Look Beca, I was ready to let it go earlier, but then you didn't come back to the room and I got worried. I'm still worried, I mean Christ Beca! You look like shit.'

'Gee thanks.' Beca said, rolling her eyes.

'Beca I'm serious.'

'There's nothing wrong Stacie. It's late…or early or…whatever and I'm tired, I'm going to bed.'

With that Beca tried to reach behind the taller girl for the lock. Stacie's hand on her arm stopped her. The girl stepped into Beca's space, knowing it would force the small girl to step backwards, away from the door.

'Stop lying Beca.'

'I'm not lying!' Beca wrenched her arm from Stacie's grasp, suddenly angry. She glared at the girl, trying to force her away from door with sheer will power. She was beginning to feel trapped and she didn't like it.

Stacie's face softened, as did her posture. Her eyebrows drew together and she looked almost….upset.

'Please Beca, just tell me what's wrong.' Beca opened her mouth to protest but Stacie cut her off.

'I know something's wrong. I know what it looks like when someone's been crying, so I know that you have. I just want to help, but I can't if you don't let me.'

The combination of exhaustion and the earlier tears was not good and Beca realised that her eyes were once again filling up. Refusing to let Stacie see, she leant against the glass surrounding the shower ducking her head. Her attempts at making it look as though she were tired evidently failed though, as tears began to slowly drip down her face, gravity pulling them to once more splash on the tiles.

Stacie saw this and moved forward, reaching out an arm in hopes of providing comfort. She sighed though as Beca flinched away, refusing to even look up. She let her arms slap against her thighs in defeat, knowing she would have to play dirty.

'Fine. If you're not going to talk to me, I'll just wake Aubrey up.' Stacie watched as Beca stiffened slightly. 'After all, she is the captain and deserves to know if something's wrong with one of us.'

Stacie continued to stand there, hoping that Beca would prefer to talk to her. However, when Beca remained frozen in place, Stacie sighed again and turned to go. She had been serious about waking Aubrey, as much as she was afraid to do so. Just as she was about to take her first step away, Beca's hand shot out to encircle Stacie's wrist. Stacie smiled, though it dropped slightly as she heard Beca mumbling. Leaning in she tucked her hair behind her ear, trying to hear Beca more clearly but again all she heard was a mumble.

'I can't hear you Beca.' Stacie said softly, trying not to ruin whatever trust Beca had put in her right now.

Beca sighed loudly and finally raised her head. Letting go of Stacie's wrist she used both hands to wipe at the tears falling down her face. Hers eyes rolled slightly and she gave a small huff of laughter.

'It's really fucking stupid.'

'Bet you it's not.' Stacie soothed, bringing her arm up to rub Beca's shoulder and she was pleased when the small girl didn't move away.

'Bet you it is.' Beca replied childishly with a smile on her face, showing Stacie she was just joking around. The smile fell though as she said, 'It's nightmares.'

'Nightmares?'

Beca's eyes were looking everywhere but at Stacie, a small blush creeping its way up her cheeks. She nodded in a jerky fashion in answer to Stacie's question.

'Nightmares…' Stacie repeated, more to herself than anything.

'Look, I know it's really stupid and I know I'm an idiot. I'm sorry for keeping you up with this. Let's just go back to sleep and ignore it okay?' Beca pushed past Stacie and moved towards the door. She managed to unlock it before a slim hand covered her own shaking ones.

Stacie turned Beca around, knowing the girl must have been really shaken by this to allow this much touching. Ducking her head until she found her eyes, Stacie made sure Beca was listening.

'It's not stupid okay? If it has upset you this much then it is definitely not stupid.'

Stacie held eye contact fiercely until Beca gave another jerky nod in response to her words. She smiled, satisfied.

'Now, you wanna talk about this or do you wanna raid the fridge?'

Beca barked out a laugh, making Stacie even more pleased with herself. Wiping at the remaining tear tracks, Beca grinned.

'Well this is a sleepover, so raiding the fridge pretty much mandatory.' She said. 'Come on, I know where Aubrey hides her chocolate.'

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 **So, just in case you didn't read the top notes ( I know I don't always) there is IMPORTANT info up there! So please read. Hope this chapter was okay and please review, it really makes my day :)**

 **\- Taylor**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys :) So, I know this isn't my best chapter or my longest but I really wanted to give you guys something before I left on holiday. The next update might be a few days late because I won't have much time (or wifi) but I promise to try really hard to get it out as soon as possible. Sorry about the chapter, promise I'll do better next time.**

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Beca and Stacie had given up on eating the chocolate a few hours before and had been sitting at the kitchen counter, just chatting. Not about anything serious, which was something Beca was extremely grateful for.

Beca, due to the many days of sleeplessness, wasn't exactly functioning properly and even Stacie had cracked a few yawns and so neither of them noticed Aubrey until she spoke.

'How come you guys are up so early?' The blonde stole a glance at the clock. 'Well, early for you?'

Beca looked towards the clock quickly and was slightly shocked to see that it read 09:00 AM. They'd been up for about five hours now and she was surprised they had managed not to fall asleep on the floor. Stacie's voice pulled her from her thoughts.

'Who said we went to sleep?' The tall girl was leaning back against the counter, arms crossed with one eyebrow raised.

Beca reminded herself to thank the girl for trying to take the attention away from her. However, even Stacie's sarcasm couldn't draw Aubrey's eyes away from the bags underneath Beca's eyes. They were so dark, they looked like bruises.

Aubrey seemed to hesitate as she took a step towards Beca, her arm twitching at her side as though she wanted to reach out.

'Are you alright Beca?'

Whether from the lack of sleep, the frustration of people asking her that question or Aubrey's look of utter concern, Beca felt her eyes welling up. Horrified, she quickly tried to cover it up by rolling her eyes, groaning and dropping her head onto her arms, that were resting on the table. Beca thanks the heavens for letting her meet Stacie, as the girl once again jumps into the conversation, asking if Aubrey has the ingredients for pancakes.

Aubrey hesitates a moment more before turning to point out the right cupboards. Beca took this opportunity to subtly wipe away the tears that had fallen onto the table when she closed her eyes. Keeping her head down and her eyes closed, Beca let herself drift between listening to the conversation and daydreaming. Though, to be fair, it was probably more like actual dreaming.

The delicate thud of a mug being set down draws Beca's attention. Lifting her head she looks through a curtain of hair to see a steaming mug in front of her. Breathing deeply, she confirmed her excited suspicions. Coffee. Sitting up properly, Beca reached for the cup eagerly, only to have Aubrey's hand move it. Beca glared up at Aubrey, trying to force her into giving the mug back through sheer will power. Aubrey however, just gave her a sickeningly sweet smile.

'Uh-uh.' The blonde girl sing-songed. 'Go wake up Chloe and this will be all yours.'

Beca turned her glare into a withering look, not moving an inch. Surely Aubrey wouldn't dare keep coffee away from her. Then Beca watched as Aubrey moved to raise the mug to her lips.

She was on her feet in less than a second.

With an indignant look at the amused blonde, Beca wrapped her cardigan around herself and shuffled off towards the bedroom, muttering under her breath about violated rights.

* * *

Beca stood in the doorway of Aubrey's bedroom, not for the first time thinking of ways to kill the Bellas' captain. As it turns out, Chloe was a deep sleeper. Beca had tried talking her into waking up to no avail. She had then taken to shouting her name once. She didn't do it again because Lilly appeared at the end of the hallway, silently and very fucking scarily, so she kept the shouting to a minimum to avoid that particular scenario. Sighing, Beca pushed herself off the doorframe, resigning herself to the fact that she was going to be without coffee for another good few minutes.

Kneeling by the side of the mattress, Beca stuck her index finger out and pushed it into Chloe's shoulder, hard.

Nothing.

Beca grit her teeth, placing her entire hand on Chloe's shoulder she pushed the girl.

Still nothing.

Beca pushed her again repeatedly and yet Chloe didn't even respond. Refusing to be without coffee any longer Beca leaned over to grab Chloe's other shoulder and that's when it happened. It was all so fast, one minute she was looking down at Chloe's sleeping form, thinking about her violated coffee rights and the next she was being pinned to air mattress by the (decidedly awake) redhead's full body weight.

Chloe's arms were wrapped around the smaller girl, pulling her impossibly closer, even as she starts to squirm.

'Chloe,' Beca moaned, refusing to admit to herself that it sounded slightly whiny. 'Get off.'

Beca feels Chloe's head shake against her chest before she even says anything.

'Not a chance Mitchell. I never get cuddles with you and if this is my only chance, then I'm going to take as much as I can.

Beca groaned, trying to convey her suffering in hopes Chloe will move. No such luck. So Beca brought her hands up to push Chloe off, trying to find grip on the girl's sides. Of course, fate hates Beca and so instead of both hands landing safely on Chloe's ribs, Beca's hand comes to rest on the side of Chloe's breast. And since fate _really_ hates Beca, Chloe anticipated Beca's move to push her off and so squeezed closer, trapping Beca's hand in its awkward position.

Beca's hand was now pushed quite firmly against Chloe's breast. Beca kept her breathing steady, refusing to acknowledge the pounding of her heart. She could feel the heat of her blush radiating from her skin. She didn't dare move. What if her hand twitched and Chloe realised where it was and thought Beca was feeling her up? Beca might actually die from overheating if that happened and she was enjoying being alive so that wasn't happening anytime soon.

So, Beca closed her eyes and stayed unnaturally still, trying to think about something other than the fact that she was basically groping her best friend.

Then Chloe shifted and Beca's eyes snapped open. The redhead pushed up onto her elbows, hovering over Beca.

As her face slowly returned to its normal pallor, Beca moved her eyes to meet the bright blue orbs shining down at her. Chloe's hair had fallen around them in a curtain, trapping them in their own little world. Chloe's looking at her with an expression that Beca can't quite figure out. It's a non-expression really. Nothing notable is there but it isn't blank.

Realising that Chloe is just looking at her, watching her as though she is something worth watching, Beca turns her head away feeling slightly uncomfortable. However, a soft hand is against her cheek, gently forcing her head to once again face her best friend. Chloe's thumb reaches out to brush under Beca's eye, trailing off across her cheekbone.

When Beca finally moves her eyes back to the girl's face she sees a frown marring her features.

'You look really tired Becs.' Chloe said quietly, continuing to rub her thumb back and forth across Beca's cheekbone

Beca smirks.

'All part of the hangover Cho.'

Chloe's head tips to the side, her frown deepening.

'Maybe, but you've kinda looked like this for a while now.'

Beca's heart stutters but she forces the smirk to stay on her face, even making the effort to raise her eyebrows in question.

'You'd tell me if there was something wrong, right?'

Beca rolled her eyes. Her hand had come free when Chloe raised up so she used it to push against the other girl's shoulder. She managed to flip them with ease, sitting on the redhead's hips pushing down the rising blush and any extra feelings that action may have provoked. Tucking some hair back behind her ear, Beca now smiled softly down at Chloe, hoping it would help convince her.

'Of course weirdo. Now come on, Aubrey's holding my coffee hostage until I get you for pancakes.' Beca said, pushing herself to stand as she spoke.

She heard Chloe squeal at the word 'pancakes' and it wasn't long until the red head had joined her in the hall, grabbing the shorter girl's hand to pull her towards the kitchen. Beca rolled her eyes fondly but let Chloe rush her along and laughing slightly as they rounded the corner and saw more than a few exhausted looking Bellas trailing sleepily towards the smell of good food. Reclaiming her previous seat Beca closed her eyes as a feeling of tiredness swept over her once again. She leaned her chin on her hand as she waited for the feeling to pass. Then someone's hand was on her back and she nearly fell off her chair. Her eyes shot open as she grabbed onto the sides of her seat. She managed to keep herself off the floor, mainly due to whoever had grabbed her and was still, in fact, holding on. Beca turned her head to glare at them for giving her a heart attack. However, her expression faltered as she looked up into the concerned yet stern eyes of the group's captain. She was holding onto the same cup she had promised to Beca earlier with one hand, while the other had now tightened around Beca's shoulders.

Righting herself on the chair Beca reached out to grasp the cup, pulling it from Aubrey's hand easily. She turned to the table, refusing to make any eye contact with the older girl, instead choosing to blow on her coffee, despite the fact it had already cooled while she was with Chloe. Aubrey continued to stand beside Beca her arm still wrapped around the small girl's shoulders. However, after a few moments she let her arm fall back to her side and walked over to stand by Chloe.

Beca watched over the rim of her mug as the two girls talked quietly. She saw Chloe shoot her a worried glance before turning back to nod at something Aubrey said. Watching as Chloe turned to face her again she saw the girl's face was set with determination and her gaze was focused solely on her. Beca immediately decided that it was time to go get changed.

* * *

'Beca?' The query was accompanied by three quick knocks.

'Yeah?' Beca called out, leaning against the sink with her phone in hand. She had been in the bathroom for around half an hour now and it seemed Chloe was getting concerned.

Beca scoffed quietly to herself, Chloe was always concerned, she needed to learn to mind her own business. Even as her mind said it, Beca knew that she didn't mean it, not really. She knew why Chloe was concerned and she knew that Chloe wouldn't stop being concerned until the problem was fixed. That was exactly why Beca had made a plan. All she had to do was avoid Chloe, and Aubrey, for that matter.

The rational part of Beca knew that it was a stupid plan and pretty much an impossible one too. However, the part of Beca running things right now was the sleep deprived, stubborn, 'I can do anything without anyone' part of Beca and so here she was, hiding in a bathroom. She'd finished getting dressed and even doing her makeup within ten minutes of entering the room and with nothing else to do to stall for time she was just playing games on her phone. And of course Chloe was stalking her.

'Beca are you alright? You've been in there a while.'

Even through the door Beca could hear the worry in Chloe's voice and knowing that she was the one to cause it sent a bolt of sadness through her stomach. Pressing the power button on her phone she put it down and turned around to face the mirror.

'I'm fine Chlo, just finishing up.'

Beca smoothed down some fly away hairs as she spoke, trying to put some semblance of truth in her sentence. Gripping the edges of the sink, Beca sighed. Her eyes still had bags under them, no amount of concealer could hide it and frankly she just looked ill. No wonder Aubrey and Chloe were worried, it looked like she could pass out on them at any moment. Sighing again Beca reached up and fluffed her hair before turning to grab her stuff. With her clothes bundled in her arms, Beca turned the lock and opened the door.

She was met with Chloe blocking the door, an apologetic look on her face. Why she had the expression? Beca had no idea and didn't stop to question it. She pushed past the redhead softly, walking into Aubrey's room to stuff her clothes into her awaiting backpack. She was just zipping it up when she heard the door click shut. She sighed loudly and stood up.

'Chloe, look. You-'

Beca cut herself off as she turned to see three people standing opposite her.

A very concerned redhead.

A pretty angry blonde.

And a brunette, looking extremely guilty.

'I'm sorry Beca. She made me.' Stacie's gaze cut across to Aubrey.

Beca's followed.

The slightly murderous look she received from the blonde girl and the shrug from Chloe, who was also starting to appear a little pissed, left Beca with only one thought running through her mind.

She….was royally….fucked.

* * *

 **So, again, sorry! Let me know what you think, constructive criticism is welcome! And I shall be back in two weeks!**

 **Taylor x**


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, so I know it has been more than two weeks and I'm really sorry! I'm kind of running out of steam right now, I've got a lot going on so thank you all for your patience and I hope you guys can bare with me for just a little while longer. This chapter isn't great so I don't expect many reviews but if you do leave one that would be great! So, thank you again for your patience and I hope you enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

Beca took a step towards Chloe, knowing that the redhead would accept an apology if she sounded sincere.

'Chlo, listen-'

'No, you listen Beca!' Aubrey's voice cut in. 'What you've been doing is highly irresponsible and downright stupid.'

Beca recoiled, shocked by the girl's words and the emotion in them. Then the shock subsided and she felt anger rear its head. Crossing her arms to give her some form of authority over the situation, she glared at the fuming blonde in front of her.

'Stupid? What I've been doing is stupid?' Beca let out a sarcastic laugh. 'So it's stupid to want to keep _my_ business to _my_ self. Yet it isn't stupid to carry on sneaking about in a person's life despite numerous attempts by said person to get you to leave it the hell alone because it is _their_ business and in no way yours?'

Beca could see that her little speech was beginning to wear Chloe down. She was the only one Aubrey would listen to at times like these and if Chloe stepped down then Aubrey might too. Angling herself more towards Chloe, she let her voice become softer.

'So excuse me for being stupid by trying to have a semblance of privacy concerning a _private_ matter.'

With that Beca turned to continue stuffing clothes into her bag. Her prayers that she had won this time were left unanswered as her arm grabbed and she was pulled up and around to face the still fuming Aubrey.

'Stop it, Beca.'

Beca opened her mouth to protest but Aubrey cut her off.

'No. I know what you're doing so stop it. Chloe isn't going to get you out of this, you are going to take some damn responsibility.'

The blonde had once again managed to shock Beca. Aubrey was furious but it was just nightmares. It's not like Beca had some deadly disease that she could catch. Beca's eyebrows furrowed as she looked into the eyes of the Bellas' captain. There was definite anger there but it was mixed up with something. Something that looked a lot like worry. Beca's eyebrows creased even further. Why would Aubrey be worried?

'Beca, are you even listening to me? Chloe she's not even listening!'

Aubrey's voice brought Beca out of her thoughts. Aubrey's face was turned away from Beca, towards Chloe, the redhead giving Aubrey a sympathetic look. As if she was that difficult to deal with. Beca scoffed, immediately regretting it the moment Aubrey's eyes snapped back to hers. Any worry that may have been in the girl's eyes had vanished. Aubrey was the angriest that Beca had ever seen her and that was saying something considering she was present for the fallout after the Trebles had pranked them.

'You think this is funny Beca? Putting your health at risk is funny to you?'

Aubrey's eyes flashed as Beca opened her mouth to give a sarcastic comment, making the brunette rethink the idea and smartly close her mouth. The blonde carried on as though nothing had happened.

'Do you know what sleep deprivation can lead to?' Aubrey paused for a second to watch Beca, the brunette's expression blank, almost bored. This blatant lack of interest only fuelled the blonde's anger and her words became harsher as she continued.

'As we have all seen these past few weeks, sleep deprivation can cause a lack of coordination, dizziness and can cause a person to collapse.'

Beca couldn't help but feel slightly insulted at the lack of coordination comment. She thought she'd been doing pretty well all things considered.

'It can also cause much worse symptoms, Beca!' Aubrey snapped, noticing that Beca barely seemed to be listening. When the brunettes eyes were once again focused on her she carried on.

'It can also affect your studies. You could have failed freshman year because of one paper Beca! All because you kept a secret. I mean, that isn't even the worst thing. Sleep deprivation can add to the risks of heart disease, high blood pressure or a stroke. Did you ever think about that?'

Suddenly Beca was angry. Angrier than she could ever remember feeling, yet she wasn't sure why. So, instead of dwelling on the why, she lashed out.

'Oh, for God's sake Aubrey, shut up!'

Aubrey flinched, taking an unconscious step back at the volume of Beca's voice.

'You really need to just shut up because I can't handle your crap anymore. I had a few nightmares, everyone does but I don't see you going off on them! We all have secrets and they are secrets for a reason. I'm nineteen now Aubrey, I can make my own decisions. Just because you can't be in control of everything doesn't mean it's going to fall apart so just back off.'

Aubrey's eyes narrowed and a slight feeling of dread crept up Beca's spine. The girl had more to say and it was going to be bad. Beca braced herself for a speech about how not telling them about her nightmares would affect the Bellas.

'Yes Beca, you are nineteen. You are also learning to drive.'

Beca froze. Aubrey didn't notice.

'Do you know how many road accidents are caused by the drivers being tired? Almost one hundred thousand Beca.'

Beca's breathing became deeper as images of her mother flashed in her eyes.

'You could have caused a crash Beca, did you ever think about that? No, I bet you didn't, you-

'Aubrey!' Chloe's voice cut her off loudly.

Pulled out of her rant the blonde turned with an annoyed look towards her friend only to follow the girl's terrified look and see Beca. The small girl was pale and shaking. Her breath was coming in short uneven gasps and she looked as though she might throw up. Aubrey could tell that Beca wasn't with them though. She was staring into the distance, not even acknowledging it when Chloe stepped towards her.

'Beca? Beca, what's wrong?'

Chloe's concerned voice seemed to pull the brunette from her trance. Realising that everyone was staring at her she turned and zipped up her bag, trying to wipe away the few tears that had fallen. She stood up keeping her head down, intending to just ignore them all and leave. Then Chloe hugged her.

All hell came loose as Beca began struggling violently against Chloe's tight holding, letting out a single shriek before the redhead dropped her arms in surprise. Beca spun around, the tears now evident on her pale face. She was completely unfocused, her eyes wild as she backed herself into the wall. She seemed to come back to herself slightly but was lost again quickly. She let herself slide down the wall into a sitting position, drawing her legs to her chest. The three girls watched in horror as their friend sat in her own world, coming back to them every so often but always slipping away afterwards.

Beca was confused. She was in the car, then on the road and then back in Aubrey's room. There was a truck, then fire and then water. She was flashing between scenarios, never holding onto one long enough for it to actually play out. She could feel panic tearing through her body, making it hard to breathe. She could have caused this much pain to someone. To another little girl on a road trip with her mom. The reason for a family to mourn. Really, she and her mom had been lucky and Beca knew that. However, what if the people she hit weren't? How would she live with herself then? God, Aubrey was right. She'd been so stupid and irresponsible.

It was dark now. She couldn't see anything. Beca realised that her eyes were closed, an involuntary reaction to the images in her mind. Images brought on by a simple hug. Chloe's arms had been tight around her, just like the seatbelt. Oh God, Chloe. Beca's eyes shot open, finding not only Chloe but Stacie and Aubrey as well. They were all stood back, looks of concern adorning their faces. Chloe looked as though she was about to cry, her hands pressed over her mouth and her eyes shining. Stacie looked devastated, no doubt blaming herself for this. Aubrey looked worried too, confused and maybe slightly frustrated but worried all the same.

The fact that she had just completely lost it in front of all of them began to creep up on her. Beca let her head fall back against the wall with a thud and closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them, she pushed herself up from the floor and took her bag. She looked towards Aubrey but didn't meet her eyes.

'Practice at four?' Beca asked, her voice even.

Aubrey seemed a bit dazed as she nodded in confirmation. She was confused by the abrupt change in the small brunette, her mind stuttering as she tried to catch up.

Chloe was equally as confused and still upset about Beca's earlier reaction to her hug and therefore didn't try to stop the girl as she left the room.

Beca was halfway down the street when Stacie caught up to her. The tall girl didn't say anything for a while, content to walk in silence. Beca was still attempting to sort through the mess of thoughts running through her head. Feeling Stacie pull her to a stop she looked up in confusion to see that they were standing outside of the 'Rise and Grind' coffee shop. Beca came here almost every morning for her daily dose of caffeine.

Beca followed Stacie through the door, the sound of the old bell oddly comforting her as they passed. The girls placed their bags down by an empty table and went to stand in line.

* * *

'So, you were in a car accident, right?'

Beca looked up in surprise. It was two hours and three coffees later and the girl was only now bringing it up. Beca thought about changing the subject but there was a tiny voice in her head telling her not to. So Beca sighed and rubbed a hand over her face.

'When I was twelve.'

'Did someone die?' Stacie questioned carefully, watching Beca's face for signs of distress.

Beca sighed again, picking at the cup in front of her.

'No but my mom…' Beca trailed off, her throat becoming slightly tight. She cleared it, taking a deep breath before continuing.

'My mom was stuck, for hours. She couldn't really keep herself awake the whole time and they said it was normal but every time her eyes closed, I just thought….' Beca sniffed, shutting her eyes to clear the tears that had formed and squeezing her cup.

A hand was placed over hers and she looked up to see Stacie's face, kind and concerned.

'You thought she wouldn't open them again.' The girl supplied, squeezing Beca's hand quickly before pulling away.

She knew Beca hated physical contact even when done for comfort and she didn't want to make the girl any more uncomfortable than she already was. Instead she kept her hands mostly to herself for the remainder of their conversation, only reaching out to offer comfort when Beca was obviously struggling.

Two more hours and a hot chocolate later and Stacie was dropping Beca at her dorm. Saying goodbye to her, Stacie continued down the corridor until she reached her own room. As she fell onto her bed, exhausted from being up at the early hours with Beca, one thought kept crossing her mind.

How in the hell was she supposed to help Beca, when the girl didn't seem ready to help herself?

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, leave a review if you want, constructive criticism is always welcome!**

 **Taylor x**


	8. Apology

Hey guys,

I know it has been absolutely ages since I've updated and a lot of you probably thought that I wasn't going to continue with the story. I didn't think I was either. I don't really have an excuse for keeping you guys waiting so long but I would like to explain. A lot of things have been happening in my life recently, not many of them have been very good. It's been a struggle to keep on top of everything that has been going on and combined with the writer's block I had after chapter seven, Fanfiction in general just fell under the radar. I'm still struggling to keep on top of things but not as much as I was and the other day I logged back onto my account. I read through all the reviews and looked at all the followers, and I just wanted to write. Thank you all so much for putting up with me and not hounding me every five minutes The next chapter isn't my best and it isn't as much as you guys deserve but hopefully you will enjoy it. Now, I can't promise I won't disappear again, but if I think I need to then I'll give you guys a heads up, maybe suggest a few amazing fanfics for you to enjoy.

Taylor x


	9. Chapter 8

Avoidance. It had always been Beca's go to plan and so far, it was working out pretty well for her. She always made sure that she was never the first to arrive for Bellas rehearsal and she wasn't the last to leave. Sure, Aubrey had tried to make her stay behind a few times but Stacie always seemed to need Beca urgently. That girl was a complete and utter godsend and the only reason Beca hadn't become a permanent recluse. After rehearsal Beca would usually lock herself away in her dorm, creating mix after mix until Stacie was able to drag her away. That was the only person Beca really hung out with at the moment, mostly because she understood, she understood that Beca did not want to talk about her issues and she did not want pity. She just wanted...normal. So that's what Stacie gave her. She joked about Beca's height, moaned about assignments, talked about her recent sex-capades while Beca threw pillows to make her stop. Beca thought they made a pretty good team.

'Dude, I've text you like five thousand times. We're already late, Aubrey-' Beca cut herself off as she turned to the taller brunette, who was currently still in bed.

'No.' Beca shook her head, hair crossing her vision. Stacie was deathly pale with a light sheen of sweat covering her face. She was sick, meaning Beca was screwed. She couldn't go to rehearsals alone and she didn't hesitate to voice this.

'Calm down, short stuff. I'm fine.' Stacie said, her voice catching. The taller girl moved to stand but swayed on her feet. Beca stepped forward quickly.

'Sit down Stace. You may be my best friend but if you faint I am not attempting to catch you in any way.' Beca held her hands out warily as Stacie swayed again and then sat back down with a heavy sigh.

'Wow, friend of the year, Becs.' She mumbled, leaning back against her pillows. Beca smirked, knowing Stacie was kidding.

'Says the one constantly reminding me of our hieght difference.' She teased, sitting by the girl's feet. 'If I tried to catch you, do you honestly think you wouldn't just face plant anyway?'

Stacie smiled at her briefly before erupting into a fit of coughing. Beca jumped up to grab the glass of water sitting on Stacie's bedside table, rubbing the girl's back soothingly as she handed it to her. After taking a few small sips, Stacie handed the glass back and lay down.

'You should get going, you're half an hour late. Aubrey is going to kill you...and probably bring you back to life, just so she can kill you again.' Stacie giggled.

Beca rolled her eyes at the other but stood up all the same. However before leaving, She cast a concerned look at her friend.

'You sure you don't want me to stay? We could do something. I may even watch a movie with you, if you promise to give me some of your mom's cookies the next time she sends you a box, that is.' Beca smirked but her eyes were still concerned. Stacie waved it off however.

'You can always have cookies,' She said, yawning. 'But I just wanna get some sleep to be honest. I couldn't have slept for more than four hours last night.'

Beca nodded understanding exactly how crappy that felt. She garbbed her bag and headed towards the door.

'Okay, I'll let the girls know. Oh, and I'll pick up some soothers after practice, if you lose your voice, I won't be the only one Aubrey kills.'

Beca slowly pushed the auditorium door open, just far enough for her to squeeze inside. She could just see the back of the group from where she was standing, meaning the minute she went around that corner, Aubrey was bound to see her. Beca took a deep breath to calm her rising nerves at being confronted by the blonde but before she could even let it out, Fat Amy spotted her.

'Where've you been bitch! You made me vertical run by myself!'

Once again Beca didn't have time to sort herself out, as Aubrey began storming towards her.

'Beca! Where the hell have you been? Practice started forty minutes ago and you know as well as the rest of us that every moment counts right now. We're a month away from our performance and you can't even be bothered to show up on time. I know that you and Stacie have your own thing going on most of the time but it does not give you an excuse to neglect your responsibilities as a Bella.' The blonde paused, seeming to notice for the first time that the other brunette wasn't there. It was all Beca needed to draw her walls up around herself, crossing her arms and letting her eyebrow lift slightly.

She cut Aubrey off before she even asked.

'Stacie can't make it today. She's sick.'

With that, Beca walked casually over to the seats holding everyone's stuff and chucked her bag towards the back. Just as casually she took her place within the group, ignoring the stares of her fellow teammates, especially the ones coming from a certain redhead.

Aubrey, recovering from her shock, moved back to stand in front of the group.

'Okay ladies; let's re-block to cover Stacie's absence. Five, six, seven, eight!'

Beca downed the rest of her water in one go. Practice had been gruelling, more so than usual and Beca couldn't help feeling a bit guilty. It was kind of her fault Aubrey was acting like a drill sergeant. Luckily practice was now over, it had gone on for almost six hours, given that it was Saturday and Aubrey had decided to take advantage of that fact. The other girls began to disperse, everyone calling out their best wishes for Stacie and yelling for Beca to pass them along. Nodding vaguely at each remark, Beca wondered what flavour soothers the other girl would want, deciding to get the blackcurrant ones and possibly some chocolate too. The brunette pulled her bag over her shoulder, still lost in thought. She turned to leave but instead came face to face with a terrifying realisation. There were only two other people left in the auditorium, both of whom were staring directly at her.


	10. Chapter 9

**Hey guys! I didn't realize it had been a month already, so I'm sorry! This chapter really didn't go the way I planned it to and I'm not sure whether that's a good or bad thing yet... Thank you all for your support last time and I just wanted to let you know that most things have gotten better but something got a lot worse tonight which is kind of what inspired me to write, I'll let you know more about that at the end of the chapter, don't want to spoil it for you! Sorry again for the wait, hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Beca shook herself out of the slight panic that came from being alone with the co-captains. She pulled her gaze away from them and headed quickly towards the door. However, even before she made it past the piano a pair of shoes came into her view and she stopped abruptly, softly bumping into the person standing before her. The scent of strawberries instantly told her it was Chloe, that along with the, slightly hesitant, hug. Beca remained still throughout the embrace, her gaze directed down at the smooth skin of Chloe's shoulder. Eventually the redhead took a small step back, letting her hands trail down Beca's forearms as she went until she grasped the shorter girl's hands. Beca twisted them free. Refusing to look up and see the look of hurt that she knew would be there, the small brunette instead side stepped and carried on towards the door until Aubrey's voice rang out.

'Beca, stop.'

The brunette kept walking.

'Now Beca.' Aubrey's voice carried a more authoritative tone than before and Beca once again came to a halt.

She stayed silent, her gaze on the floor. She heard one of the girls behind her sigh, though she couldn't say which one. After a few minutes of silence Aubrey spoke again.

'Can you sit down Beca? We'd like to talk to you.'

Beca raised her eyes upwards before stating,

'I don't have time Aubrey, Stacie's sick remember? I told her I'd pick her up some soothers.'

Beca turned to face the two girls while speaking, finally raising her eyes to meet theirs. She was met with looks of concern, frustration and something she couldn't quite place that made her heart stutter nervously. Turning away again, she took the final steps towards the door.

'I'll talk to you next practice, okay?' The brunette offered half-heartedly, knowing full well that she wouldn't but she would say anything to get herself out of there. However, she wasn't expecting Chloe to voice that fact.

'No you won't.' The three words were said in a voice so laced with sadness that Beca felt her heart break just a little. And, as if that wasn't enough, the redhead continued.

'You won't talk to us at all and we all know it. You're acting like we're the enemy but that's not rue Beca, we're your friends and we're trying to help. You've just got to let us in sweetie.'

The small girl jumped at the feeling of the older girl's hands on her shoulders, she hadn't heard her moving closer, too focused on not letting the tears that had accumulated in her eyes fall. The jerky movement destroyed that focus though and Beca held her breath as two tears fell, hitting the floor like small raindrops. Chloe, being the ever observant friend gasped quietly and spun Beca around to pull her into a crushing hug.

'Oh, honey.'

That simple statement tore through Beca like wrecking ball, knocking down the thin walls she had left. Tears began to leak out of her eyes in a steady stream as she fought to rein them in, holding her breath in an attempt to stop the sobs forcing their way up her throat. Chloe wasn't fooled though; she pulled the small girl's shaking body closer even as she began struggling to get away.

'Shhh, Beca, it's okay. I'm right here and I'm not letting go, okay? I've got you.'

Beca choked on a sob, coughing slightly into the girl's shoulder as she still moved to escape. She put her hands on Chloe's ribs, trying to get some leverage to push away but the redhead just held on tight.

'Let me go.' Beca forced out between sobs, her voice thick. She swallowed in an attempt to clear it before speaking again.

'Chloe let go!' Beca's voice had risen as she started to panic. She was being weak and stupid and she hated herself for it. Hated the two girls for being able to do this to her, hated that she let them be able to do this to her.

She pushed harder against Chloe's sides, forcing the girl's arms to loosen lest she hurt them both. Taking her chance she ducked down through the small gap and backed up before the other girl realised what she was doing. However, despite being greeted with her back hitting the door (through which she would have immediately run) she hit something soft, dread curling in her stomach as another pair of arms came up to encircle her. Aubrey's voice was stern as she spoke.

'Beca, you need to calm down.' Her voice becoming strained towards the end, as Beca began struggling against her as well.

However the blonde had clearly foreseen this and simply slid down the door she was pressed against; bringing Beca with her until the small girl was sat between her legs. At which point Beca, who was becoming hysterical started to twist and kick out in a desperate attempt to get away. Her efforts were thwarted as Chloe grabbed her flailing legs, pinning them to the floor. Beca choked harder on the sobs she was still holding back, though it was becoming increasingly harder to do so with Aubrey's soothing noises and words.

'Shh, Beca, we've got you, it's okay, just breathe okay? Come on, just take a deep breath for me, come on baby.'

But Beca refused to embarrass herself any further, despite the fact that she was actually beginning to feel calmer within the embrace. Finally choking down the last few sobs, she stilled her body, her head still hanging so that her face was covered by her hair. She could feel the heat that was already in her cheeks increase as embarrassment and anger slowly crept their way into her mind. She felt Chloe hesitantly let go of her legs and heard her shuffle forwards. A soft hand reached out and brushed some hair away from her face and Beca raised her head to meet the redhead's eyes. She watched as Chloe flinched from the blazing anger Beca knew was in her eyes and felt slightly satisfied when the girl dropped her hand.

'Beca – '

'Let me go.' The brunette cut the older girl off abruptly. Chloe gave Aubrey a hesitant look but Beca wasn't having any of it, this wasn't their decision. She raised her head higher.

'Let. Me. Go. Posen.' She spit out roughly and immediately scrambled up when the blonde's arms slackened around her. She picked her bag up from where it had fallen during the previous struggle and stared at the two girls blocking her way. They were staring at her worriedly, Chloe biting down on her lip hard. Aubrey stepped forward slightly, levelling her gaze with Beca's.

'You need to talk to us B – ' Again, Beca cut the sentence short.

'I don't need to do anything, Posen.' Beca was fuming. 'How dare you! How dare you do that to me! Do you know how many of my fucking rights you just violated?! Do you?! God I can't believe you two! Why can't you just stay out of my business, huh? Is it that hard to understand that I don't need and especially don't _want_ your help?! Did that even occur to you?! Or did you just ignore it like Chloe ignores the meaning of the words _personal space_?' At that Beca directed her glare towards the redheaded girl, her anger faltering slightly as she saw the tears pouring down the other girl's face. She shook her head and rolled her eyes towards the roof. Looking back at the girls with a much calmer gaze she spoke again.

'Why can't you just leave it alone? I just want you to leave it alone, leave me alone. Okay?' She didn't wait for either girl to answer as she pushed between them to open the door. Her heart broke as she heard Chloe let out a single sob before she took off running.

* * *

Finally Beca came to halt in a small alley between two of Barden's buildings. She didn't know how long she had been running, nor where exactly she was, having never had a class on this side of campus. What she did know however was that her chest was burning and so was her mind. The small brunette dropped her bag as she gasped for air, bringing her hands up behind her head to open up her chest. She closed her eyes but immediately opened them again as images of what just happened flashed through her mind. God, she was such an idiot! A weak, pathetic idiot. Here she was making such a big deal out of nothing, crying like some stupid child. The co-captains were so worried about her, she could see that, but the minute they found out it was all over nothing surely they would hate her. They would think she was pathetic just as she did. She wouldn't be able to look them in the eye if they ever found out. God! Why was she such a fucking, useless, bloody -

Suddenly Beca turned to wall, letting out a short scream of frustration and slammed her hands hard into it, revelling in the stinging pain it brought about. Again and again she lashed out at the wall, kicking it, slapping it, screaming at it. However as her hand was brought down against it in a particularly fast arc, a shooting pain ran all the way through her forearm, travelling up to and back from her elbow. Beca gasped, grabbing her now injured arm and bending forwards, as though trying to protect it from further damage. She rocked slightly as she blinked away the involuntary tears, straightening up slowly. Her face was screwed up in pain as she took a deep breath. It hurt a lot less now, just a dull throbbing and Beca shook her head to clear it. She needed to get back to Stacie. With soothers, she reminded herself as she pulled her bag from the ground with her less painful arm, lots of soothers...and chocolate.

* * *

 **Ok, so I think what really inspired me to write this chapter was how angry I was feeling earlier. Like I said before the chapter didn't go the way I planned and I think that was because all my emotions just started pouring out onto the page. Obviously, they are more focused on Beca's situation but it just really helped me vent, having a character who was justified in feeling the same amount of anger that I'm feeling (or was feeling). Anyways, I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and I just wanted to let you know that the next one is already underway! Would love to hear what you think!**

 **Taylor x**


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